Oct 10
12
Stress Breeds Stress In Adopted Kids
I have been stressed out today for a myriad of reasons–most of which I won’t bore you with. As I got more and more agitated this morning and let my kids do their own thing for too long after finishing school work, a situation started to escalate and I got angry.
I had words with my middle son and it wasn’t pretty. By the time the dust settled I had to apologize for my behavior and I felt awful. Not because I felt he wasn’t in the wrong too, but because I could have prevented the whole thing if I had just not allowed my anxiety to creep into the day. It is like a cancer.
My kids are super sensitive to stress or anxiety of any kind. In talking to other adoptive parents, I know I am not alone in that observation. As our kids sense our stress levels rising, theirs does too and pretty soon no one is able to make a good decision about anything.
When we first started this journey I was very aware when I needed to ask God to help me not allow my anxiety to get out of hand. I would pray quietly almost non-stop. Now, my kids are doing great and I’m back to trying to rely on my own strength. I don’t think it’s working. Anxiety is so pervasive, we have to nip it in the bud to skirt the issues we can have if our worry takes over.
The seventh chapter of Matthew is partially devoted to the topic of anxiety. Jesus tells us not to be anxious for what we will eat or drink or wear. He reminds us that our Heavenly Father knows everything we need. So, it isn’t that we don’t plan to take care of ourselves, but that we do not allow anxiety to rule our lives. This is an important concept because worry can suck the joy right out of living. Clinically speaking, it can also stunt the development of your child’s amygdala and prevent bonding and attachment.
Today I allowed that to happen and I sit here now regretting it. My relationship with my son suffered unfortunately. I think I need to go read Matthew 7 again…”Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” Mat. 7: 34
